trust in truth

So recently I accused my friend of hurting me, when actually I had hurt myself, my friend was merely an unwilling participant in the process...In response to my hurt, my friend became hurt. And eggshells were broken in attempts to avoid more hurt. And it reminds me again that at the end of the day, it is honesty and trust that matters - even when it hurts. Through honesty comes growth. Surviving pain can bring depth and strength to individuals and to friendships.

So recently I wrote this to my friend. And I wrote it to myself...

"I have learned the hard way that when we act, in life, it is impossible to avoid hurting others, and ourselves, at times. Yet the alternative, paralysing non-action, is unthinkable and unworkable. No matter how hard we try not to hurt anyone, to avoid any pain, we crush ants under our feet with each step and when we are honest with the world there will be times when our words and actions poke others in their soft tender parts. This does not mean, as tracy said, that we should ever stop being honest (when it is not intentionally malicious of course).
Every action has a consequence, sometimes many, and what matters most is how we deal with those consequences - we cannot spend life avoiding risks, we can only strengthen our capacity to survive them, and to learn from them. Often it is through pain that the greatest learning and growth comes.

The fear of pain can be much more debilitating than pain itself. Pain passes eventually, fear lasts a lifetime.

So I say live in truth, trust others to be able to handle your truth, and know that you and others have the strength within to survive and even flourish."