pure pleasure

Do you think my angel enjoyed the teeny tiny bit of chocolate that I gave her??
You be the judge...

Guardian Angel?

So tonight I went to water my vegie garden.... it was dark outside, but it was the first chance I had had after the frenetic pace of the day.  I had finally settled the angel to sleep, so off I trotted to check off the next thing on my To Do list, keeping the lettuces alive.  On the way downstairs it struck me suddenly - what would happen if I was bitten by a snake while watering the garden?? I often think about what would happen if I was hurt while here alone with the angel... would anyone hear me yelling?  What if I was unconscious?  Would anyone hear her yelling?  And so I was watching my step very carefully on the way to the garden, and while watering... the fear of a snake kept my heart pumping a little faster, although the voice of reason in my head told me to stop being so melodramatic.... I was nervous, watching each shadow, listening for movements... and after the minimum of refreshment for the poor wilted seedlings, I happily turned my nose back to the house.  To get back to my house from the garden I have to negotiate two sets of steep steps.... Normally I put one hand on the top step to steady myself as I navigate them... And as I put my hand out towards the top of the second set of stairs.... there it was...rapidly my mind ran through the options...Stick? no  Grass? no Shadow? no.... a slim head and beady eyes raised themselves off the step and .....HOLY CRAP!!!!  A rather large snake draped across the stairs in the shadows, just its head in the dim light of the top step....
As you can imagine... I have lost several years of my life, grown several new grey hairs, erupted with a few choice words...and discovered that I can jump from one terraced level of my garden up to the next without the aid of steps!!

What made me so focussed on the fear of a snake tonight?  Did I know?  Did I sense the risk? Certainly if I had not been thinking so intently about snakes in the dark I would most likely have put my hand right on it.  I don't generally expect a snake on my back steps.  What ever the cause, or co-incidence... I am very grateful!

Progress Report #1

Ok so I guess that it is time to report on my healthy life-change, weight loss goals... Hmmm
So I have to be honest...I am struggling.  I maintain focus for a few days, and then it slips, I become less strict with myself... eat loosely, miss exercise opportunities... then I feel awful, guilty, remorseful, tell myself to refocus, get back on track for a day or two, sometimes half a day... and so the cycle goes.  I am not enjoying this.  And I am not losing weight - surprise!
Something needs to change... I have taken one step in actually committing to the wish to change.  Now I need to take another step of finding a way to be consistent in acting on that wish.
One of my dear friends sent me a birthday gift of a pad of record sheets for changing habits.  Called "21 days to change a habit" they are little weekly check sheets, monday to sunday, for a list of positive new habits.  I have stuck one of these on my bathroom mirror and for the last few days this has been helping.  Each evening I check off my achievements against a list of positive behaviours including : 20+ mins of exercise, no sugar, complete 1 organisational task, take vitamins, take protein powder, choose to spend less money, maintain Indi's routine etc.  Each week I will write a new list of the things that are most relevant.  Some of the things are easier to complete (eg make bed every day) and others require more commitment.  At the end of the daily check boxes is a column for the rewards for each habit maintained... My most important and desired reward will be, however, simply feeling proud of myself for a really good week.  And hopefully - a downward movement on the scales. 

I am still focussed on my long term goal of 12 kg in 12 months... however this month is not a good one and I fear that I will not reach my goal for the month of Feb.  This will mean an extra pressure to make up the loss in March.  I have 11 days of this month left.... I will report back here on the end result.  Accountability...always my best motivator.

zoom - that was your life...

Is it just me or does life move at an ever increasing rate of knots?  I feel like every day just melts away in a blur of activity... I crave a way to move back to simplicity, peace, a chance to experience the slowness of time meandering...
Life feels so full and I am yet to try and incorporate a schedule of child's activities as well...
Oh to breath...

ah life

In a parallel universe I do this....

Community Counsellor and Trainer Sector: Community & Social Development Country: South Africa Length: 24 months Close Date: 17/2/2010 Position Description 1: 10530782_AD.doc Counselling Trainer - Open Door Crisis Centre Open Dorr Crisis Centre is a well established counselling, training and advisory centre that provides safe haven where people across all sectors of the community can find compassion, understanding and assistance in times of crisis. The main activities of the centre include; counselling services (for people experiencing abuse, domestic violence, bereavement), community development (running centres for at risk groups, Safe Haven (for 15 women affected by abuse of human trafficking), HIV/AIDS wellness clinic and a 24 hour crisis line. The centre also seeks to create sustainable possibilities and solutions on the ground for people in these communities, so this role is about empowering and training local people for the purpose of community upliftment. The work will be across a great variety of communities, from a peri-urban coloured community to rural Zulu communities. The benefit of an international volunteer is that they grew up outside of the South African context and are therefore exempt from a lot of the prejudices and political influences that they may face from going into such a wide variety of communities. Over two years, the successful volunteer will be working towards imparting their counselling skills to both individual clients and support groups in the community, while training local volunteers in these skills. To be successful in this assignment, you will be able to demonstrate: Previous experience working with traumatised groups, with a focus on troubled youth, abused women and vulnerable and orphaned children. Previous experience in a training and upliftment Excellent communication skills Ability to maintain both local community and international relationships Your experience will be supported by qualifications and/or ongoing professional development in Counselling and/or Community Development