Monday, July 25, 2011

12wbt self inspiration moment...

I need a bit of this....

Extraordinary people have some distinctive traits:

Passionate - Courageously pursue a path they are passionate about. They draw inspiration from others and surround themselves with like-minded people.
Never give up - When an obstacle comes up, they work through it, no matter how tough it might be. They are relentless and recognise that every journey has it's speed bumps.
Resilient Mindset - An extraordinary person creates a mindset that is resilient. A mindset that works with them not against them. An internal programming that lets them know they will achieve their goal. They have an inner faith in themselves.
Disciplined - They work hard, even when they don't feel like it. They recognise that there are times to reap and times to sow. They keep going when many others would stop.
Raise the bar - They achieve and succeed. And when they reach their goals, they set new ones, growing their inner faith and inspiring others around them.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

crawling along...

As is the way with those amongst us who are fallibly normal... one's commitment to one's goals waxes and wanes... and the initial rush of novelty of change does not last forever.  My weight loss journey continues, limping at times, but determinantly moving along... another kilo has finally hit the dirt... but this sodding cold weather is proving challenging to the will power and self restraint!  A bikini seems a looooong way away, and that hearty mashed potato, hot chocolate and crunchy toast beckons cruelly....
I limp along but along I do still limp... and I have a new zest for exercise that has impressed me.  Whilst I will not claim to, yet, be addicted enough to brave the freezing rain to complete my intended runs in the last couple of days (I have definite room for improvement) I have been motivated enough to regularly manage to get to a lunch time zumba class each week... even doubling up with the gym as well one day! 
I am slowly starting to change the habitual brain process which looks for an excuse not to exercise and only agrees to it if no suitable excuse can be found - and move towards a mind frame which does not accept an excuse unless it is unavoidable.    I actually look forward to my monday-wednesday morning gym routine... and my exciting gift to myself last week was not clothes, or food, but the complete set of zumba dvd's!  I was more excited about that than I have been in a long time! 
So I see that I am changing. 
And the changes are not just in relation to exercise.  My will power and general belief in myself has changed in ways that go across all areas of my life.  I know now that I can achieve my goals...and this affects me on lots of levels.  I have been facing high pressure situations at work - and not undermining myself, or doubting myself, and have been achieving successes - with much less stress level than in the past.  I have greatly reduced my fear levels about my upcoming overseas move.... trusting that I will be able to make it work for me if I maintain this positive sense of self valuing... I have switched the default setting in my brain from "i'm not sure I can do it...." to "I am pretty damn sure I can do it....".
It feels good.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

my first "i love you"...

So I have been trying to encourage the angel to tell me she loves me... I know, it feels kinda wrong to coach her on that...but I figure how is she going to know that its important to tell people if I don't let her know that I like it!?   So she dutifully repeats "I love you mummy" when prompted, but I take it with a grain of the proverbial seasoning. 
One day this week I had a moment, watching her run down the hall, when I wondered if I would hear her spontaneously say those words one day.  I thought about kids with autism, and how utterly heart breaking it must be to never experience your child's love overtly expressed...
In one of those strange quirks of the universe, my ruminated wishes were answered moments later. 
We were sitting on our front step drying our hair in the sun after our morning shower.  We were chatting about something, I don't know what.... and suddenly she looked up at me, and in her eyes was such an incredibly strong and undeniable expression of love... in that moment I thought, in a split second, "Oh, she does love me!".... and then, amazingly, she said it.  She threw her face against me and snuggled in and announced "I love you!". 
It was so powerful, so genuine, so heartfelt. 
I burst into tears immediately, which caused her no small consternation... but I made sure to reasure her that mummy was very happy indeed.
:-)
These are landmark moments - not road signs, but mountains on the parenting journey.


Monday, July 11, 2011

Thats family mummy!

"knock me down with a feather" moment #309747009

So when I was pregnant I had a baby party.   I invited some close friends over, and in anticipation of the arrival of my angel daughter I wanted to create a picture for her bedroom wall that would bring together the important "aunties" in her life.  I called them the fairy god-aunties... a special group of people who would love her.
To do this I gave everyone a small canvas and laid out an array of paints and pens and brushes and collage materials etc.
And people created some gorgeous little images... full of love.
I had them velcro-dotted to a board and hung in her room when my angel was a baby... but the vecro dot's stick didn't last, and after a while I took them down to glue them properly.   Life goes on, fast forward past a lot of distraction, and this week I finally re-hung the properly glued board of clustered colourful canvases. 
And I showed the angel.... "These were painted for you when you were still in mummy's tummy".  I didn't mention the aunties idea... but I did go through and name each painting by who did it.
She seemed quite interested.
Then later in the week I was astounded, delighted and fascinated by the angel's wisdom, once again.  I followed her into her room one night and discovered her standing gazing up at the board of canvases. 
"mummy," she says "thats family!".  She then started reciting all of the names that she could remember.
bless her....
she said it again a few days later.... look mummy.... its family!
Just gorgeous.