crawling along...

As is the way with those amongst us who are fallibly normal... one's commitment to one's goals waxes and wanes... and the initial rush of novelty of change does not last forever.  My weight loss journey continues, limping at times, but determinantly moving along... another kilo has finally hit the dirt... but this sodding cold weather is proving challenging to the will power and self restraint!  A bikini seems a looooong way away, and that hearty mashed potato, hot chocolate and crunchy toast beckons cruelly....
I limp along but along I do still limp... and I have a new zest for exercise that has impressed me.  Whilst I will not claim to, yet, be addicted enough to brave the freezing rain to complete my intended runs in the last couple of days (I have definite room for improvement) I have been motivated enough to regularly manage to get to a lunch time zumba class each week... even doubling up with the gym as well one day! 
I am slowly starting to change the habitual brain process which looks for an excuse not to exercise and only agrees to it if no suitable excuse can be found - and move towards a mind frame which does not accept an excuse unless it is unavoidable.    I actually look forward to my monday-wednesday morning gym routine... and my exciting gift to myself last week was not clothes, or food, but the complete set of zumba dvd's!  I was more excited about that than I have been in a long time! 
So I see that I am changing. 
And the changes are not just in relation to exercise.  My will power and general belief in myself has changed in ways that go across all areas of my life.  I know now that I can achieve my goals...and this affects me on lots of levels.  I have been facing high pressure situations at work - and not undermining myself, or doubting myself, and have been achieving successes - with much less stress level than in the past.  I have greatly reduced my fear levels about my upcoming overseas move.... trusting that I will be able to make it work for me if I maintain this positive sense of self valuing... I have switched the default setting in my brain from "i'm not sure I can do it...." to "I am pretty damn sure I can do it....".
It feels good.