New Faces...

So its really happening - it is really all coming to an end...
And here are the lovely fresh faces of the new era in Pacific Counselling and Social Services. I suspect the trainees (not to mention my boss) were a wee bit scared of Polly - the up-dated, dread-locked, tattooed "cool" version of me... but her warmth and capacity for beer has won them over :-) And despite being a funky melbourne chick, polly did survive the farm experience well...but seemed somewhat happier with my afternoon's orientation agenda - the resort pools of course :-)









And Tiffany - well, if anyone can organise Fiji she can... she is a 26 year old single mum and already knows exactly how to do and find everything she wants, and who to talk to to get it! On one of her first days I called her to check if she needed help finding her way into town, only to find she was not only in town but enjoying a quick pedicure!
Sadly her piano did not fit in the shipping containers she brought with her... but everything else did :-) I am sure that as her adventures unfold (neatly) her friends will be as green with envy as her Goooorgeous son in his new Dinosaur outfit :-)

Feels like such a shame to be leaving just when the road-show has hit town, but... life moves on and so shall I. :-)

How Times Change....

I was trying to explain to Polly, who has come to replace me, that once upon a time I too would never have thought that I would wear floral bula fabric...

and I was thinking about how my "look" has changed as I have assimilated into tropical island life :-)


The "before and after" shots !!

Pictures speak for me...

So I had to stop four times in my speech at graduation to hold back the tears...tears of happiness and sadness.... so now I think I will let the photos speak for me...
I'll just say it was a wonderful night, tears and laughter flowing together for many of the guests as well as the graduates, my boss, me... the end of an era and a bright beginning the fruition of the reality of this project.

There was much dancing and merriment...

And I was even supplied with a true "fiji" moment for my memories when the caterers turned up 2 hours late with the food not ready yet.... ah Fiji... :-)

GRADUATION!

Oh so proud!
Will write more when i am not so exhausted but I wanted to put up a photo straight away!

Change is the only thing that stays constant...

As I contemplate times of change...

This lovely Hindu poem came from my friend Sam....

THE EXHORTATION OF THE DAWN

Look to this day, for it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course lie all the verities
And realities of your existence:
The bliss of growth,
The glory of action,
The splendour of beauty;
For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision;
But today, well lived, makes every yesterday
A dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.

Scents of convenience...

There are some things I am REALLY going to miss about being here... and well, one of them is having a cleaner. Oh the luxury of it. I know I espouse the simple life... but I call it my "income generation program"...
I TRY not to feel like an indulgent colonialist...
I mean, she is a widow with 9 children in a country where there is no single parent pension. And I do my best to do right by her....
and today, in thanks, she filled my house with Gardenia...

Oh the simple joys of life....

I will really miss this :-)

TV Wisdom

“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you that you love, well, that's just fabulous!”

-Carrie Bradshaw
My friend Steph was inspired by the Ben Okri quote... and in return I got this one from her facebook page. From the mouth of pop culture :-) but today it touched me.
I think it is in the last bit - "to love the you that you love"... which entails first finding a you that you love, and then being able to hold onto her in the presence of others, and finding another who loves her - "just the way she is" (to mix TV icons - thanks bridget) rather than someone who loves parts of you that you are ok with being, but don't necessarily love.
I hope that makes sense...
I think perhaps finding someone to love you is not always so hard in life, but finding someone to love a you that you love... now that is a challenge.

Confessions....

Hi
My Name is Rhianon....
And I am a hoarder....
Its been 2 weeks since my last hoarding binge (damn that Indian Festival Market)
But I have always been a hoarder (yes mum, I know...)

And once again I am feeling the consequences... How can one little person have so much stuff ?
Packing ... ug.

:-)

Words of Inspiration

Today while packing I found again this poem... I had written it down to bring with me when I left to come here... I think it is one of the most inspiring pieces of writing I have come across in terms of a way of living and moving through the world...

May it inspire you also... :-)

To An English Friend in Africa – Ben Okri

Be grateful for the freedom
To see other dreams
Bless your loneliness as much as you drank
Of your former companionships
All that you are experiencing now
Will become the moods of future joys
So bless it all

Do not think your way superior
To anothers
Do not venture to judge
But see things with fresh and open eyes
Do not condemn
But praise when you can
And when you can’t, be silent

Time is now a gift for you
A gift of freedom to think and remember and
Understand the ever perplexing past
And to recreate yourself anew
In order to transform time

Live while you are alive
Learn the ways of silence and wisdom
Learn to act, learn a new speech
Learn to be what you are in the seed of your spirit
Learn to free yourself from all things that moulded you
And which limit your secret and undiscovered world

Remember that all things that happen
To you are raw materials
Endlessly fertile
Endlessly yielding of thought that
Could change your life and go on doing so forever

Never forget to pay and be thankful
For all the things good and bad on the rich road
For everything is changeable
So long as you live while you are alive

Fear not, but be full of light and love
Fear not, but be alert and receptive
Fear not, but act decisively when you should
Fear not, but know when to stop
Fear not, for you are loved by me
Fear not, for death is not the real terror
But life, magically, is

Be joyful in your silence
Be strong in your patience
Do not try to wrestle with the universe
But be sometimes like water or air
Sometimes like fire
And constant like the earth

Live slowly, think slowly, for time is a mystery
Never forget that love
Requires always that you be
The greatest person you are capable of being
Self regenerating and strong and gentle
Your own hero and star

Love always demands the best in us
To always and in our time overcome the worst
And lowest in our souls
Love the world wisely
It is love alone that is the greatest
Weapon and the deepest and hardest secret

So fear not my friend
The darkness is gentler than you think
Be grateful for the manifold dreams of creation
And the many ways of the unnumbered peoples
Be grateful for the life as you live it
And may a wonderful light
Always guide you on the unfolding road

Ramblings from within… a letter to my friends…

Ramblings from within… a letter to my friends…

Today I am home packing up my house, again, filled with deja vu. As I contemplate leaving all that I know here and returning to the well known and yet unfamiliar place called “home”… I do know one thing clearly. It is that I want to hold onto the sense of myself that I have developed in the time that I have been here. In this window in my life I feel like I am slowly becoming a person that I like being. While I have had many moments of doubt, and some of the darkest days of my life while I have been here, I also feel strongly that somehow doing what I do here, living the way that I live here, being the way that I exist and interact here… This is the closest sense of being true to myself that I have known so far in life.

And now as I contemplate changing so much in my life – all over again… I wonder how I can hold onto this sense of myself ? How do you define yourself? Is it in your work? Is it through how your friends see you? Is it through your hobbies and the fun things you do for entertainment? If you took yourself out of all of that, over and over again, how would you define your sense of yourself? I know that since being here a big chunk of how I define myself is wrapped up in being an international volunteer doing fabulous world changing work… it’s a really hard identity to leave behind…

This will be the third time in the last few years that I have changed almost everything in my life. I have had moments of deep questioning about who I am and how I see myself and my place in the world. And the struggle of challenging and questioning my assumptions has made me feel like I have a closer relationship with who I am on the inside.

But – how will I survive returning to my old world? The challenge I am anticipating is how I am to go through this upcoming upheaval without losing the internal sense of myself that has been hard won over the my time here.

My dear friends at home – yes you… you know who you are… you have blown me away with your loyalty and commitment to me over the last several years. I have chopped and changed and weathered drama and such sparkling highs and quiet soggy lows, and you have come along for the ride. To express how much your friendships mean to me would take pages of gushing… but suffice for now to say that you have been my anchor through emotional storms, my reference point through days of sunshine and glory, my solace and my source of bubbling happiness… THANK YOU!!

And so as I go through this next time of change and redefinition of myself… I again ask for your ever-abundant patience… I may seem different to you at times (I have long hair now!), and I am different in lots of ways…there are new things about me, and things that have stayed the same, and things that have always been there that have become stronger… And I trust that you can and will allow me to be who I am now while knowing that I am still the same loving friend… I will be trying to hold onto myself and work out how to be with you and my old world… one step at a time :-) And I am really looking forward to seeing you!!

R
X X

Quote of the day...

"Nothing stays the same unless you don't change..."

Thanks Zohar

Bizarre Quirks of Life No. 9755

So this week I met a Buddhist, vegetarian, counselling, teaching, girl-likin, international volunteer called Rhiannon...no - I wasn't looking in a mirror... she is a 10 year younger version of me working in the next town. Bizarre quirks of life indeed :-)

Priscilla - Sugar would melt in her mouth ...

This weekend opened with another of the bizarre moments of life that remind me that, well,.... I ain't in Kansas now... and just when you think you know what your daily life is all about - well, just a twist of the world on its axis and everything is surprising all over again...

Last Friday night was Priscilla night in down town Lautoka... The Annual Sugar Festival is kind of like the easter show about 20 years ago with rickety old ferris wheels and fairy floss. And it has a terribly serious Sugar Queen competition...but on Friday night the most popular event of all... The Priscilla Night (I suspect few of the audience have actually seen the film) served up a fabulous technicolour smorgasboard of drag queens competing for the coveted crown... I have never seen such an incredible standard of drag, a riot of risque, a spectacle of ball gowns and breasts and legs TO DIE FOR! FAAAAAAbulous Darling.... and the crowds loved it.... I don't know how they get away with it!

It was all too much for one little man though;-)

A time of lasts...

So its that time... the time when daily experiences become redefined by their impermanence. My last day at the beach, the last quiet weekend before the other volunteers arrive... counting down my lunches in my favourite vegetarian indian cafe.... my last tutorial with my trainees... Mentally I shift between future focussed thinking, feeling like I have already mentally moved forward... and being strongly in the moment, trying to drink in the "now"...sipping slowly... knowing that only too soon the slurpy loud sucking sound at the bottom of the glass will signify The End.

Last weekend an eclectic picnic of blueberry yogurt, herb cheese, seaweed crackers, mexican dip, chocolate, cheese chips and pineapple celebrated the last trip to the main land beach...

I am reminded that a vastly improved range of food is one of the pluses about coming home... although.... I enjoyed the diversity immensely :-)

So I heard a funny story...

So my friend told me a funny story that happened to her sister...
This was the event that led to her sister insisting she change schools, and her parents agreeing... One day her sister took a note to school to request that she be excused for a day so that her parents could take her to see HH the Dalai Lama (ah memories!). In the inexorable way of schools, this of course got out.. and when she boarded the bus that afternoon she was the butt of much unfunny mirth and teasing. Just as the teasing had died down, a young boy pipes up from the front of the bus... what is a Dalai Lama anyway? And the "Cool Kid" (remember them?) ringleader of the angst invoking teasing responds, with great authority and confidence...
"Its a kind of Camel, dummy".
:-)
I love laughing....

Spoon feeding....

I got this in an email today.... I know its religious.... but I think it contains a good point....
...something along the lines that the way we experience the world, and our level of happiness, often comes down to how willing we are to share of ourselves with others...
when we give our love and care to others, rather than lock it up and protect it like a precious jewel in a safe, so we receive in return riches that would overflow and bury that lonely little safe...

Mother Theresa said...
"I have found that the paradox is that if you love til it hurts then there can be no more hurt, only more love"....

I hope you like the story...

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, 'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'
The Lord led the holy man to two doors.
He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.
The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.
But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.
The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.
The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell.'
They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew.
which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, 'I don't understand.'
It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill. You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.'

I bet you know this feeling !!

I found this in a random internet traveling today.... it made me laugh so I thought I would share it.... how well I know the frustration of the stumbling across a black hole in the computer universe... I wonder if my black socks are in there???

Abort, Retry, Ignore?
by Anonymous Works

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets.
Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer,
I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store,
Only this and nothing more.

Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing,
Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more.
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token.
"Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!"
One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more,
Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before.
Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises.
The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more.
Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more,
From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key.
But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before.
Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore,
Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again, but twice as hard.
I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried and then I swore.
Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations,
Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before.
Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before.
Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted.
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw a dreadful sight: a lightning bolt cut through the night.
A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core.
The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore.
Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go.
What demonic nether world us wrought where lost data will be stored,
Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes?
But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more,
You will be one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore,
Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

Henna hands

This weekend I satisfied a little personal goal and had my hand henna tattooed..... Its cute... I think I will do it again.

Connecting...

Life has recently been giving me people to learn from....

Tonight I was given this ...

When the shoe fits, the foot is forgotten
When the belt fits, the belly is forgotten
And when the heart is right,
“For” and “against” are forgotten
(Taoist Poem)

Isn't it lovely....?

Ah life....

So has anyone noticed recently that the concept of control in life is an absolute illusion??
I have been anticipating so much uncertainty once I return to Australia... but my path to there seemed finally clear...
Today I received a call to say that my replacement, who was all set to come in 2 weeks, has been admitted to hospital. That is all I know...
Once again my future is in the hands of the irrefutable uncertainty of life...
Let go and let be..... that is all I can do I guess! :-)

Oh my god, Not my god....

Living here has highlighted for me they ways in which, in Australia and other more developed countries, we are relatively sheltered by being able to surround ourselves with people who are relatively cultured, educated, aware.... maybe not as much as we sometimes wish, but....
I am regularly shocked by the way some people here think.... and this letter in the regular "Voice of the People" column in The Fiji Times is an example that I just had to share...

"I wish to agree with Mrs **** that we are indebted to English missionaries who gave their lives in bringing Christianity to Fiji and we are indeed fortunate to witness in our generation the fruits of their labour in the existence of a large, diverse and healthy population in Fiji. Had it not been for the introduction of Christianity in Fiji it would not have been possible to acquire farm labourers from India, and English trading merchants in an environment where humans were eating their own kind.
But in God's divine plan Fiji was to be rescued from the clutches of Satan. As a Christian I can understand this and I hope Mrs **** can also realise her own existence as a gift of God through England whom God greatly utilised to bless other nations where tribal groups practiced cannibalism such as Africa, Australia, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, Solomon Islands and even reported in the Bible in 2 Kings 6:25-30.
So if the migrant race would not have come to Fiji their decendants would have been born, raised and died in some other part of the world and that includes the Mrs *****s."

Hmmmm Now I wonder what the indentured labourers from India, and the indigenous populations of Africa, Australia etc feel about their "blessings" from the English colonialists and missionaries ????

Words of Kindness...

I know its not new… and its not rocket science… but its meaningful to me today….
One thing I have learned, over and over again…both as the giver and as the receiver… is how much difference a few words of kindness can make.
When was the last time you offered random unsolicited kindness to a friend, to someone you care about?
So much of the time we are busy with our lives, our chores, seeking entertainment, distraction… and we of course assume that the people we care about and admire already know how we feel…
It takes so little to say a few words of kindness… to tell someone “hey – I think you are great…” Or to do something for someone that says “hey – I thought of you and you were worth going out of my way for...”
Today a friend sent me an email, just a simple compliment…. But it just so happened that today I was feeling really sad… and her email made me smile for a moment, and that meant so much to me.
Thanks Lisa!

DON'T ASK ME!!

And in other breaking news...
I have extended my contract again - but this time only for two weeks :-) Things are massively hectic here... as usual, but somehow on top of all of my current work I am now charged with the task of getting another two training groups up and running in these "last sand through the hour glass" moments... Squeezing more and more into my days in anticipation of the time, all to soon, when my days will loom long and empty.... well, at least between social engagements... and eating... and working out what I am doing with my life next!

I plan to hit the shores of the old country around the 10th November, with a flying visit through Brisbane and a few days of sleep at Mum and Dad's... mmmm sleep....mmmm

And then its on to the bright lights of Sydney town somewhere around the 14th or so...
So... pencil me in your diaries, pop me in your phone calendars, slot me in your minds... I'm comin home and can't wait to see all my wonderful loyal friends and family... and I will be wanting lots of distraction I imagine...from the yawning chasm where my purpose in life once lay....

Just one favour I ask - Don't Ask Me What I Am Going To Be Doing Now!.... I will be unable to crawl out from under the collapse of all structure in my life enough to find an answer for you... at least not for a while.... :-)

Sending you smiles til I show you the real ones!

the joy of cultural mishmash...

Again I was reminded - Tis truly a multicultural world....
last weekend I joined other Australian and Japanese volunteers to farewell, in sign language, lovely Kate, with an authentic Korean Dinner, in Fiji :-)

I love these surreal moments of cultural juxtapositioning!

Things of Beauty and Love

One of my goals in life is to appreciate the senseless beauty of ordinary moments....

If, between distractions, we open our eyes, breathe... and really see.... beauty is truly all around.....

These kittens were born in the donated clothes under the social worker's desk in my office.... I have watched them learn to drink, to crawl, to see, to jump.... and to love :-)

and this coffee.... truly a thing of beauty :-) All seems right in the world with a coffee like this :-)

May all your days be touched by things of beauty and love... and may you notice them! :-)

Seeing the light... Fiji Style...

So in true aquarian style I decided, over dinner, to try and better understand the experience of people who lose one of their senses.... I decided to experience blindness for a while. I am sure its a good thing that I couldn't see the looks on other people's faces! :-) It was an interesting feeling, though of course in no way representative of the true experience...but I did get a fractional sense of the vulnerability, frustration and importance of relying on others. Humbling to think what the real experience is like... So much we take for granted.

Chillin Fiji Style

There are definitely things I am going to miss about life here :-) Although, I think perhaps I need to spend more time on centering myself... hammocks as metaphors for life? Perhaps I should do a lot more practice before I leave... :-)

Getting to know you... Fiji Style :-)

Ah its a tough life
Sam tastes the delights of Fijian hospitality...
:-)

Rhianon's How to Save the World Volume 288

I don't know.... I have no idea...

Sometimes I look around me and I know in my heart that this is a beautiful and wonderous world.
Sometimes I know that in the world there are so many fabulous kind compassionate people.

Sometimes I look around me and feel utterly overwhelmed by the extreme insanity of the needless suffering, cruelty and complete hideousness that is all around us every day. I know I choose not to see it most of the time. I guess most of us do... its the only way to keep finding meaning in every day life.... but looking around certainly puts my trivial concerns into perspective.

In case you feel like looking around and appreciating how lucky you are.... (to be alive, to be able to read this, to have the freedom to take a walk if you feel like it....) here are some windows I looked through this morning....

Just a few little snapshots of the world....

Gulbar was burnt by her husband. After being tortured for the 3 years of her marriage she ran away to her mother’s house. The next day her husband came and threw petrol on her and set her on fire. She has been in hospital for 40 days but no charges have been laid, no police file opened.

Anecdotal evidence suggests several hundred young women are burning themselves to death every year in western Afghanistan. A government mission sent to investigate the problem in Herat, the biggest city in the country's west, reported that at least 52 young, married, or soon-to-be married women had burned themselves to death in the city in recent months. The youngest was a 13-year-old bride-to-be. "In our culture, women have always burned themselves, because they have always been so badly treated," said Amina Safi Afzali of the Afghan Huma Rights Commission.

According to a report released in October 2005 by the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights, Louise Arbour, child marriage makes up more than 40 percent of all marriages in Afghanistan. In some cases, girls as young as seven years of age are forced to marry men who are in their 30s or 40s.

Zarghona 15 lies in a Peshawar shelter, burned by her father-in-law, who said she had not cleaned her husband's clothes properly.
(http://www.dhushara.com)




In South Africa sexual violence against children has increased by 400% over the past decade.
A female in South Africa has a greater chance of being raped in her life than of learning to read.
(Dempster, 2002).
The University of South Africa reports that over 1 million women and children are raped there every year. (South Africa: Focus on the Virgin Myth, 2002).

Recent research conducted by Amnesty International indicate that the Nigerian police force and security harbour the wildest rapists in the country. They use the cloak of officialdom to humiliate their victims sometimes raping an entire community in the course of restoring peace in troubled areas. (http://allafrica.com)

About 25,000 people die every day of hunger or hunger-related causes, according to the United Nations. This is one person every three and a half seconds.
(http://www.poverty.com)

And somewhere in the world ... someone thought that this tattoo was a good idea...
(http://tumbl.us/post/7678724)

The world really is crazy....

everything is coming up blue hibiscus

My dear friends.. you may or may not have noticed that I do NOT wear blue... its just not me...its a high school uniform thing, its a quirk of character thing... its just a thing...
You can, therefore, imagine my joy at discovering that my entire work team was being transformed into a blue flowerbed. Celebrating the opening of our first new branch office, in Nadi, was a very special moment - just special enough to get me breaking my rules and breaking out in blue hibiscus. (although I did fight hard with the tailors to persuade them to change the whole thing to chocolate brown - if there had been enough brown bula fabric in Lautoka I may have pulled it off...but no, and not enough green, or red, or orange.... or anything but blue!)
But on an up-note... if you can see past the power prints you will see the crowd of people around me, who are ALL Counselling Diploma trainees... what a difference they are going to make in the world - well, this little part of it... How wonderful to be a part of this.... perhaps I can wear red tinted glasses, purple hibiscus might look rather fetching! :-)

Frocks on a boat

And straight from the blue blue waters to the little black frocks... with barely a moment to catch a breath and no chance to indulge in the traditional post ocean swim feast, Lou and I set off from the beach to navigate our way to Lori's wedding. Effecting a small miracle of surreptitious quick change mastery on board a crowded ferry was the next thrill in an action packed day. Mild hysteria and much mirth was induced when Lou was trapped by an officious ticket seller and forced to haggle for her life (well, a few bucks anyway) with knickers wedged around her knees. There was simply no option to make a break for it! She paid the full price :-)

No small "feat"...in flippers....

So this year I said "No"... No way, work has been crazy busy, my social life has been full, and lets face it - I have been very lazy....I have not been in the pool for months - I am not doing the Treasure Island to Beachcomber Ocean swim...
Sure it sounds like fun... sure it will be with a bunch of great mates.... sure its only 1km.... but I really can't do it.... well.... maybe I could do it in flippers, and with a snorkle :-) So I did :-)

Happy post-race faces - standing on Beachcomber island, and that is Treasure island in the distance behind us.

Gotta be a part of life - its not how fast or how far, but getting wet that counts :-)

Obligatory gorgeous fish photos...

Well.... its been a while... after the thoughtful nature of my last entry I figure I should restore the balance of life with some gratuitous indulgence photos... after another gorgeous weekend on treasure island. My deepest apologies to all Australians who are suffering in the coldest winter in 50 years....absolutely no gloating intended... but here its really rather nice indeed :-) I am doing my best to enjoy on your behalf... Marina joined me in paradise this time....

Rhianon's HOW TO SAVE THE WORLD Volume 287

As my time in Fiji wanes I find myself reflecting on the things I will miss, and there are many. Besides the obvious beaches, indian baubles and the pervasive sense of living in a coconut tree bordered postcard scene... one of the things I will miss is living in a country where big is bountiful, where beauty has many shapes, and where women don't walk around sucking their stomachs in... One of the things I am starting to dread about my return is re-entering plastic dolly girl land... the land where so much emotional and mental importance is attached to hair follicles, fat particles, textile adornments and cell distribution. Why do we do it to ourselves ????
French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan claimed that women do not want to be loved, they want to be wanted... And I agree - people are loved for what is inside, but wanted for the picture they project... Polly Young-Eisendrath in her book "women and desire" talks about the way that "the compulsion to be desired and desirable undermines self-direction, self confidence, and self determination in women....wanting to be wanted is about finding our power in an image rather than in our own actions"...
And I find myself thinking about why this is... obviously the instinctive orientation towards physical attractiveness is determined by the evolutionary drive for reproduction and survival. Prehistoric man did not plant his seed in the woman with the witty sense of humour...he went for one with childbearing hips. And so on through generations we have shaped and plucked ourselves into the contemporary ideal breader. Blindly following a now redundant biological urge, we find ourselves more and more disorientated, dissatisfied and with a sinking sense that everything we are doing is in fact meaningless and has become purposeless. And it is true...
We no longer need to compulsively breed to ensure the survival of the human race. As a species we have blindly bred ourselves to the brink of extinction. And so as women we are now stuck in the limbo land between biological historical survival instinct, and the formation of a new sense of purpose and worth based on far less tangible constructs. Such things as self worth, integrity, intelligence etc were once irrelevant to the survival of the species but are now crucial to the health of the individual and society as a whole. It is now these characteristics that will determine our survival as a species, as these are now all that stand between us and self destruction on a global scale. If we are indeed the "mothers" of the human race it is well past time for women to stop defining themselves and their worth according to their physical characteristics and start taking a stand for the personal qualities that are necessary for our continued evolution. When we look in the mirror and think "Ug - I wish I was thinner/more shapely/taller etc" we are part of a system that no longer works, and is now actively destructive. If we are to think globally and act locally - then while we cannot change the world as a whole, we can each change the way we think. Everytime we refuse to have our worth defined by ancient breeder characteristics - but rather by our ability to feel compassion, to think inventively and to discriminate between right and wrong - then we are part of ensuring the survival of the human race. Its not just about us and the fact that we will be certainly be happier if we are less obsessed about our bodies and our physical attractiveness... we have an obligation to save the world and the future of humanity.
Look within...
Judge yourself and others by how we think and feel, not what we look like...
Save the world...

Hola !!

Synchronicity... I am a pretty lucky person I think... things happen to me that make me think - wow, how did that happen to me? Sometimes the universe opens up and delivers, against all odds, exactly what you asked for.
So I want to learn Spanish... I want to go and work in Guatemala... But I live in Fiji.
How do I do this? Well - ask and ye shall receive, the universe is a wonderous thing... meet my new Guatemalan dear friends, fellow Harry Potter fans, and Spanish teachers.... living here in my little Fijian town... What are the odds of that ? Thanks Carlos and Mercedes... for being part of another demonstration that nothing is impossible.... cualquier cosa es posible...

A cafe to hold on to...

Maybe I am obsessed... Maybe I am addicted...Maybe I am odd...
But the discovery of a good cafe is, to me, like a strong breeze when driving behind a Fijian local bus... the dark clouds clear and all looks bright and colourful again. A good cafe is a like the finish line at the end of the marathon you rashly decided to enter for "fun"... A good cafe is the ground you touch after sky diving....
Thank you Bulachino... you have saved me. I don't need to visit you all the time - I just need to know you are there.... :-)

Its Hot

Australia is sucking all the cold out of the pacific it seems...
just to cheer you all up - its 30 degrees and 94% humidity here... some winter !

romping with the orphans

So the intrepid and ever hopeful mother-to-be went exploring....
Visiting Treasure House Orphanage was an experience in mob management of the gooiest, stickiest, loveliest type... each determined to outshine the others, the kids scaled ever greater heights of cute.... The place is poor, the conditions poor.... a row of cots, along the wall and mattresses on the floor.... little chris in the blue played with a broken chair leg with the wonderous creativity of kids who have never been exposed to brain sucking masquerading as play station... the staff said they sometimes run out of food, but then money is taken out of their wages.
If you would like to help... email me and I will arrange for donations of toys, bedding, clothes etc. Apparently they need a blender for the babies food, and a computer and internet connection... even orphans need technology :-) will this be the end of happy chair leg play?