zzz

Ok so its 6:59 pm... and I am soooo ready for bed...

What has become of me?

I know the answer to that one... she has blonde curls and is 2.5 years old...
This parenting business is really rather tiring I find!!

Geez...
zzzz
zzzz
zzzz

oh snuff shndops where was I? oh yes... the days seem full, the nights welcome... the gentle peace of a quiet evening is no longer a sign that I have no social life...but rather a cherished oasis of calm... there is a brief window of consciousness and then crash clatter plop... its down I go... zzzzz
At least I am getting used to it before the real hard work starts!


I have an illusion that I am not quite ready to let go of. Its just a little one... but it means a lot to me. I am holding tightly to the idea that my life will go on after a child...not exactly the same...but recognisably similar... somewhere in my mind there is a beautiful land of rainbows and flowers...and in that magical land I am able to pop forth a cherab-like little being who will just happily tag along with me as I hop, skip and jump my way through my creative spontaneous adventurous little life...
I know in my logical mind that the reality is that life as I know it will cease to exist and I will be thrust forth into a strange new world... a world in which my dream of lazy sunday cafe breakfasts with cute child happily sipping on a babychino will be dashed to a thousand pieces with the last vestiges of my sanity and my waist line...
But I am not ready to let go of the dream just yet....

And on that note... at this stage we are aiming for somewhere in the days leading up to the 30th of this month for the first actual try... lets hope the cannons are locked and loaded this time!