Taking steps....

So I met with my potential donor... over greek salad and laksa we had a Frank and Frannie discussion... at the next table two veeeery Awshtraaalyan women slowly got tipsy on red wine and our conversation :-)
Happily my donor comes from a culture that is famous for being very direct in their manner of communicating :-) so we were able to get our cards out on the table, shuffle them around vigorously, and come up with the feeling that we did essentially agree on the principles of the thing...
We went over the differences between being a donor and being a father... explored questions of whether making a baby you take no responsiblity for is a spectacularly generous gift... or irresponsible parenting... we talked about potential future relationships.... bottom lines and pipe dreams. And we agreed that the basic premise is its a gift of sperm... I am the mother, the parent, and I have full responsiblity and all parenting rights. He gets to know he has done a great thing, and the knowledge that there is a child in the world that is part of him....And the child gets to know who and where he/she came from....anything beyond that is a bonus if it goes well....
If my son/daughter child wants contact, if I am ok with it and if he is ok with it then he can form a relationship with him/her... visit sometimes if we are in the same country...
We went over the gory details... And to all those who have asked me and all those who want to but haven't... NO WE ARE NOT PLANNING TO HAVE SEX. This is ethically and legally a whole different kettle of sperm to artificial insemination. A baby conceived by sexual intercourse is legally in a very different position to a baby conceived by artificial insemination - even the home turkey type. By the way - people don't really use turkey basters anymore... but I must admit it has a nicer ring to it than "syringe baby"... more festive, less sharp... I guess :-) So... now that is out of the way... where was I?
Oh yes... we went over bits and bobs of how, when, what.... and how we fit in with both of us going overseas in the next few months... and we talked about legal bits, contracts etc
And well... agreed that we were both interested in continuing the conversation over a plastic cup or two ... he he... well continuing the conversation anyway. So off I have gone to do research on the current state of legalities and ensure that all is in order.
Legally where do we stand? Well its pretty easy really - QLD does not have any legislation... Nothing. Nothing has been written... buuuuut there are legal precedents from the Family Law Court.... and there is some legislation in other states... and in the absence of legislation there are the good ol' Reproductive Technology Accreditation Committee Guidelines which inform fertility services practice... These are the people who so protected my rights that they prevent me from signing a waiver to allow the clinic to use fresh sperm. Thanks guys.... Anyway.... So anyone who wants to know more about it all - email me and I am happy to send you my summary sheets, just a little something I prepared earlier.... If you are keen to start learning more...Here is one discussion paper for bed-time reading :
http://www.lawreform.vic.gov.au/CA256902000FE154/Lookup/
Assisted_Reproductive_Technology_and_Adoption/$file/
ART_Surrogacy_and_Legal_Parentage.pdf) Lots of riveting reading.

Fancy a contract or two to peruse in a spare moment ? Try http://www.knowndonor.com/contract.php
Or you may prefer the step by step DIY sites? Something to cosy up with on a lie-in morning... ( eg http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/homeinsem.html)
And I have much much more :-) Did you know that there are lots of different kinds of DIY insemination kits that you can buy with a click of a button? They come with your very own plastic cup :-)
Isn't the internet a fabulous thing????

So that is where we are up to.... we have agreed in principle... and now we are gathering the legal and technical bits... arranging tests... step by step....

Smiles to all :-)