and not a turkey in sight....

So my life has a rapidly increasing sense of being even more surreal than usual....
I spent Christmas day enjoying fabulous gourmet spelt and ricotta pancakes with my parents and my sperm donor. We had a fabulous feast, and my pun-loving pa valiantly resisted the urge to make any references to christmas turkey basters, or "pass the sperm, I mean salt, please"... All a little odd, yet also so normal...even with my mum wearing her new bikini babe apron.... We then walked on the beach in the cold (?) blustery wind, talked through sperm mobility, HIV and his recent sex life... then had coffee and flourless traditional Christmas cake before my parents and I went off to see our Tibetan Lama, Geshe Tashi Tsering, for dinner of pizza and green tea.

Not exactly a "normal" family Christmas :-)

But in the spirit of the season... if you are reading this then you know that you are likely to be someone special to me... or special to someone who is special to me.... and this time of year more than any is a ritualised appreciation of the people we love, the people who have been part of who we are and the journey of our lives... and as I sit here with sporadic taste reminders of the garlic in my donor's yummy tahini dip of yesterday...so too I have little bubbles of memories of people popping in my mind.... some of you I am still close to and some I have lost contact with for now. But the incredible thing is how much I have learned from each of you. I think back on my moment recently when I realised anew that where I am in the outside world is immaterial because I carry who I am and all of my life experiences within me.... and I sit here with spontaneous thoughts of the wonderful gifts that people have individually given me...
Some that come to mind randomly include :

Linda - you gave me the gift of learning that true friendship can be steadfast and not waver with time and circumstances, it is quality of heart connection that matters.
Cal - many years ago you taught me to accept myself and to focus less on trying to fit others' expectations, because you had none of me, and wore none of other peoples. Reconnecting with you recently has given me a gift of once again experiencing that, in life, anything is possible.
Zohar - you have given me the gift of the courage to be brave in expressing myself with authenticity and truth, and to trust in others acceptance of the honest me. You have taught me that authenticity of self means not acting a role but being completely present in a given moment... and that genuine heart caring for another can stand strong without the need for wrappings of practicality, time, place or constancy.
Kath - you gave me the precious gift of knowing that I am better than I sometimes think I am, at the same time as teaching me to be better than I thought I could be... being your friend is one of the proudest achievements in my life.
Sharyn - you taught me to stand on my own feet, to be strong in myself in the presence of another, and to commit to what I believe in without settling for mediocrity or laziness
Marina - you taught me that it is possible to love another more than yourself, without doubt, knowing their strengths and their weaknesses and loving them unconditionally....and through your journey I have learned the importance of knowing myself and holding onto that truth.
Jen - by chasing your dreams and realising them you have taught me to keep trying and stay positive and eventually I too will find a life of simple satisfaction. And through it all your effusive warmth shows that expressing genuine caring towards others takes but a moment but the effects can last a lifetime.
Fe - you have taught me to trust in honest loyal friendship, and have inspired me with what one person can achieve with a bit of organisational skill :-) You teach me and others that we are often limited only by our own lack of faith in ourselves, and actually we can achieve much more than we often think we can.... and, with a little effort and focus, still have a balanced creative life.
Jeff - you have shown me the value of the walking the middle path, while extremity can be exciting, it is often nobler and much more satisfying to put aside ego and enjoy simple life pleasures
Lisa - you gave me a gift of knowing that sometimes a small gesture of kindness, of thoughfulness, means more than the most expensive presents in the world... and gives to the giver in kind...
Houston - your gift to me has been to value communication as it is our relationships with people that are the rich flavour of our life, and a life loving others and being loved is a life well lived.

and there are many many more of course.... these are but a few thought bubbles that popped in my head while I was typing.... If you are not on this little wee sample list please believe that you are indeed in my mind.... but this would ramble on for hours and hours if I attempted to tell you all how incredible and amazing you are....and I would be unwrapping until next Christmas if I was ever able to take true stock of the piles of invaluable gifts you have given me....

I wonder what gifts I have laid under peoples life tree over the years... I hope you have enjoyed them!