Is my life really changing forever? Somehow I just cannot get my head around the fact that in a mere 7 days and 12 hours I will be signing into an operating theatre to do the act that will forever transform me, my life, my family... and that will create a new person. I know people do it all the time... but I keep going on about it to anyone who will listen in the hope that somewhere in all my ramble a penny will drop and it will, by some miracle, feel real. It really is a phenomenal thing. Perhaps its best to stay numb. Perhaps the only way to deal with the reality is to wait until its real and just have to cope with it then.... Perhaps something fundamental in me will be born at the same time, a new aspect of self that incorporates being a mother (??) and having the full time care of a little person for years to come.
I don't feel ready at all.
So I guess my only choice is to keep sticking my fingers in my ears, singing la la la, and waiting for the big burp that will reveal that all of this was really just a bad case of indigestion.
:-)
la la la... la la la.....
sheesh.
2 comments:
Well who says things HAVE to be real?
There have been so many realised beings who have said reality is really just an illusion. Note that doesn't mean it doesn't exist, just it's not as it seems - proveably so.
Maybe it's good to get comfortable with the sense of unreality. Maybe it's trying to tell you something.Break a few concepts. Prepare you for fuller understanding.
Like any change it cant be real until it is...reality is the be-ing of things.
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