Friendship

I sit...wide awake still at 4 am.... and i ponder a very familiar train of thoughts...what is friendship all about really? When I was younger I took friendship for granted...friends were easily made, embraced, enjoyed... life moved on and new friends were made in a moment... Some old friends lasted through life's movements and some connections didn't last in the sense of a physical connection - but in my mind they were all still friends. Its a very aquarian trait to value friendship above all else, as the most sacred and important thing in life, yet not to attach it to solidity and consistency - to a set person or place or time... Throughout my life when I look back the richness all lies in the friendships I have known...as has the deepest suffering when friendships have gone sour.
As I have become older friendship has troubled me more however... no longer content to roam and fill my senses with the new learning of changing friendships - I find myself looking for more solidity and consistency... and as I have taken on the adventure of being a single parent I have absolutely realised the importance of "building block" style friendship rather than the "flowing river, transient, new adventures around the corner" style friendship that I had been happy with before... now I look to friendships to be carefully built on solid foundations, and to be trustworthy, loyal, consistent... and I realise that this kind of friendship requires great fortitude in coming up against my own fears and insecurities...that it requires great flexibility in overcoming disappointments at times... that it requires one to be both discerning and accepting at the same time.
So I find myself thinking more deeply than I have before, in my 37 years of bouncing around, about just what friendship is all about - what can I expect from it? what should I accept and not accept? what do I need to put into it and what can I hope for in return? how important is it to me really? is it the case that at the end of the day the only person I can really rely on is myself...or can I expect to be able to rely on others if they are true friends? and what does that "relying" look like? when do I let go of it and when do I fight for it? where do I draw the lines between true friends, fair weather friends, situational friends (those whose friendship only really exists in a certain context eg work) and mere acquaintances... with some people it is easy, with others harder, and some seem to swim between categories...
I googled friendship and found the following quote on a page called "the meaning of friendship"... its the closest I have found to something that resonates in its balance of pragmatism and idealism...
And as for me... I will keep on pondering - keep on exploring - keep on experimenting....
Perhaps the trick lies in expecting nothing and thus never being disappointed... but rejoicing in the times that do deliver unexpected moments of joy....

What is friendship? What is the meaning of this relationship? We have often sought answers to these questions, yet we have never come up with an adequate answer. This is because this relationship is an amalgamation of beautiful and complex feelings, which may not often be described in words. Defining a relationship is never easy, as there are so many facets to it. However we don't need a bunch of words to make us realize the deep meaning of friendship.

According to George Elliot "Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words."

This heartwarming expression captures the essence of friendship. When two people share a strong bond of mutual understanding, respect and love it lays the foundation stone for an everlasting friendship. This bond just gets stronger with time; the trust between the two people grows and so does the attachment. This is the beauty of the relationship and is the essential meaning of friendship.

Being friends means being there for each other at all times, whether it's good or bad. A friend needs to be very understanding and give each other the benefit of the doubt. Ideally the meaning of friendship is sharing unconditional love for each other. However this is not an ideal world; therefore some form of expectations are allowed, but that has a limit too. The purpose and meaning of friendship is to make life's burdens lighter for our friends and not make them heavier. The Roman thinker Cicero said "Friendship makes prosperity brighter, while it lightens adversity by sharing its griefs and anxieties."

Searching for the meaning of friendship has always been a burning question. However as soon as we meet our friends all these questions get answered automatically. The answer to what is the meaning of friendship lies within our hearts, because true friendship can only be felt, and not expressed. Something so pure and essential is not always visible to the eye, but is felt by the heart.