sitting with ambivalence....
when I was young and impetuous life seemed black and white...
decisions were yes or no
indecision was excruciating - and had to be fixed
any decision was better than no decision
choices were there to be made, and then never looked back upon.
now as I grow, older and hopefully wiser...
I find that I am at once more decisive, and less decisive
I understand consequences more deeply
I have learned to look back with regret
I know that some things are no longer choices
I know that some things are just not clear
and I have learned about patience
its never easy, but it now has a place in my life
I sit with grey
so its growth, maturation
sometimes I miss the old days