Communication

One of the things that I find hardest in life is the devastating effects of misunderstood communication... In my heart I really do deeply wish people happiness, and want to do all in my power to bring it to them. Knowing that people don't hear the messages of my heart... that they react to things that I do or say in a way that causes anger or distress rips my heart into shreds. I can tell you exactly all of the times that it has happened in my life - because each one is etched deeply into the fabric of my self. I carry these experiences like scars. In moments of reflection I get them out and ponder them anew...even some from more than 10 years ago... and I continue to try and learn from them.
One of my dilemmas is that I try so hard to take responsibility for anything I might do wrong or any ways that I might be misunderstood... and I apologise genuinely and profusely for this... but then what I am left with a sense of having taken all the blame...and there is no space left for my hurts and sense of being wronged by the other person... The result of this is sadly that people sometimes remain angry at me - feeling righteously confirmed in their belief that I have done them wrong... I struggle deeply with trying to balance being able to explain to people that the impression they have was not my intention... and not seeming to be denying them their feelings or being defensive.
In Buddhism we learn that our own pride and ego is our biggest cause of suffering...so I suppose it is better to be humble and to continue to try to live by my belief that "it is better to be kind than to be right". And if others then see me as the one in the wrong, well, I need to let go of the need to correct this. That is my pride talking. What matters most is that know in my heart that I mean people well, that I care, that I don't have the intention to hurt, and that I learn from the experience about how to try to do things differently in the future...