seeking answers finding unknowing...

So its in the nature of this pregnancy process that I am largely out of control of it all - once the actual physical deed is done. I can't tell what is going on inside me... I don't feel like I can control it... I can't know what will be... I can only wait.
And so it is understandable that my mind latches onto any opportunity to try and increase a sense of "knowingness" in all of the unknown...
I have resisted tarot cards, not trusting or wanting to trust...
But around me people offer their "visions", their "instincts".... their thoughts...and the temptation to listen and hold onto these is strong in a time when I do not trust my own instincts - clouded as they are by hopes and fears and self protectiveness...
The friend who was previously so clear ... "Its the number 5"... is now unclear.... withdrawing her prediction... mentioning being prepared for a long wait...
But another friend feels that THIS one is THE ONE... that I am pregnant now...
My mum thought I was on a previous attempt...
I thought I was the first time....
Who to believe? Well no-one until I get that little blue line... but I must admit its tempting to focus on my "THIS TIME" friend this time :-)
Ah waiting...