phew...

So Here I Am....
As my dear friend reminded me recently... "where ever I go - there I am"
I have been greatly surprised by the level of culture shock I have experienced returning to australia this time. Before I left Fiji I joked about it, I anticipated it in a "be prepared for the worst" sort of not-really-real sort of a way. I mean after all, its not that long really since I was here last. And its not like I was living in a remote african village... Its not like I haven' t seen a car for two years or anything...
However the shock to my system from being here has stunned me.
Its been like being beaten with a rubber bat... not excruciating or bone crushing...but decidedly uncomfortable. When I have visited for holidays it has felt very different... this time I have opened my eyes wider I suppose... like landing on a different planet and looking around - trying to position myself in this new world. I look around and people are odd... ok so I have been hanging out in Newtown...so that is a reality not a perception... but people walk hunched over, they dress in colourless clothes, they don't make eye contact, and they frown ... people are so serious! I know in Fiji I complained that people lacked initiative and were too much about having a good time... but really - in Newtown most people really look like they need a few bowls of kava and some bula fabric.
In Fiji people say Hi (BULA!), they smile for no reason, they clap each other on the back and laugh with open mouths, heads thrown back and bellies swollen with joy. In Sydney people scurry... heads down.... and I am struck by the sense of "busyness"... of people who are so seriously intent on being busy, on filling their days, filling their heads... (as opposed to Fiji where people are mainly interested in filling their bellies!) People seem to work so hard at being busy! And I sit, in cafes, and I watch... and I see the same people walking past over and over again. Sometimes they are not the same people they just look alike, but sometimes they are literally the same people... walking up and down the same street...walking with purpose, with busyness...but where are they going ?? What is the purpose of all the busyness? What are they achieving? And in that moment the city collapses into one big network where everyone is working so hard to support each others busyness... and nothing is produced but activity. The filling of time... distraction...
and on that note... I'm off for some more distraction... :-)