Discovering my inner Pauline

So my angel has reached the age where discipline has become a necessary theme in our relationship.  I am passionately committed to having a child who has good social skills, clear limits and a proper sense of awe for her mother's authority.  Unfortunately I gave birth to a dear sweet poppet who is an Aries, with a Taurus rising and a Virgo moon.  The kid's got guts.  "Stubborn" simply does not describe it.   Sure she smiles angelically while she looks her mother in the eye and gleefully defies her, but this is just not cutting the mustard - it may work on Ga-Ga... but Mummy is not falling for it, damn it!   Unfortunately I am an Aquarian with Cancer rising and a Pisces moon.  You don't get much more airy, watery, soft, gentle, "lets talk about it" than that.  So it is taking a super-human effort to be the B-O-S-S.   Already "NO" has become relatively meaningless... I have spoken it firmly, shouted it, growled it, and repeated it ad-nauseum.  She uses it exceedingly well, but she ignores everyone else's use of it.  (perhaps because we frequently ignore her use of it as well...)  So I have taken a stand with the day care centre and adopted their words... I figure this will help with consistency, and it will be doubly reinforced, and well, it seems to work better.
Now I just need to find a way to not feel like a joke, and to not use a nasty nasal accent, while I am saying "STOP - I DON'T LIIIIIIKE IT"!

(for anyone who doesn't get it... google Pauline Hanson... or enjoy this video)

yumminess personified

Scrummy yummy chocolatey goodness :-)
Just coz.

"Good Morning" in 3D

Erk...
So its Monday morning... I wake with a sore throat heralding my infection with the angel's nasty little cold from last week.  I hear her cry for me from her cot, rouse myself from a deep and abiding urge to stay asleep, and totter into her room mumbling an approximation of a good morning greeting...
Her response?  A warm sticky stream of projectile vomit in my face. 
Ah the joys...
I guess we are not going to day care/work today.

twice bitten, not shy but mad....

So my angel has been bitten again.  And now I am mad.... the Director of the centre shall be hearing from me.  The wrath of the mild mannered mother is unleashed...
It tears my heart out to look at her bruised little face.  Of course it triggers all sorts of mummy guilt... about working, about sending her to day care...about not being the perfect mother who protects her from any pain at all... But I know too that there is nothing I can do really... that this is her journey and I can only hold her hand and give her cuddles when she asks for them... which she does now :-)

seriously with the mod cons?

So I had a night away in the illustrious Jupiters Casino in, wait for it, Townsville.... I happened to be there for work at the same time as Ms C...so I had the honour of lobbing in to her swish hotel booking.  Not only was it at the (woohoo) Casino (quite the posh address in Townsville it seems) but a faulty TV over-came Ms C's British reluctance to complain, and we received an upgrade to the newly refurbished "executive suites"... noice!  All quite stylish daarling... Now I don't want come across as a country bumpkin all wow'ed by the mod cons of sophisitication... I mean I have stayed in many more than my fair share of luxury hotels while posing as an intrepid aid worker in the tropical pleasures of Fiji.... And at the same time I don't want to lose the ability to enjoy things with child-like innocence or to become jaded and unappreciative...so I oooh and aaaah at the glass cased bathroom with its mammoth tub, played freely with the electric privacy screens that slid down around the bath when required, played with the tasteful mood lighting and bounced on the king sized bed in glee...
My attempts to be both worldly and yet still balanced enough to have fun in, you know, a sophisticated professional travelling for work sort of way were somewhat damaged however by my experience of the shower.
I blame the architect.  Clearly no-one thought about the reality of the experience of the user when they designed the oh so modeeerrrn but highly impractical shower.  Things looked normal enough... a space with a drain, a tap on the wall, a hand-hold-able shower head (modern and sleek) tucked into its cradle on the wall... Innocently I stepped into the space, taking care to stand out of range of that first cold jet from the shower head.  I turned the tap, my mind on other things... what to wear to dinner... what desserts they would be likely to have on the buffet... and lo... Boom!  I was rudely jolted from my ponderings by a blast of icey water on the top of my head!  good god above!  Being the quick thinker that I am I immediately turned off the tap and stood, dripping forlornly, and looked up.  There in the ceiling of the bathroom, an oh-so-tastefully discreet panel with little dots on it.  Set flush to the ceiling was a secret hidden second shower head.  Not a recognisable one, mind, but a super-mod panel of little secret fighter jets.  I looked at the tap in consternation.  Set into the handle was a super discreet little button, which clearly one must press if one wanted water to come out of the actually visible shower head.  Well.... where the hell was the warning!?  Where were the bloody instructions!?  There was no red lettered notice as you enter the shower zone saying "beware - water will come out of the roof unless you press the little silver button!"  I mean sheesh.
Once I got my breath back I laughed of course - what else could I do?  But really..... modernity gone mad I say.

a sad sad moment in the toilet

So I would have taken a picture... except I would have used my phone to do it...
This morning, after reading books and playing merrily on my bed after her morning bottle, the little angel wriggled off the bed and made for my pride, my joy, my tool of life, my iPhone.   "Heeellllooooo??  Ga-Ga?  Helllooo?"  she exclaimed, poking hopefully at the phone... so dutifully I obeyed and pressed the call button and Ga Ga was there on the line and they had a lovely chat...
And then my mistaken action began.  A lovely bonding moment turned sour in mere minutes... I was distracted.  I was having a moment of quiet contemplation... I don't know what I was doing - staring blankly into space perhaps... but I roused myself to the sound of a little voice saying "ooooooooooooooh" in a tone that brought instant fear to my heart.  Oh dear... what had she done now??  Now that she is walking a disaster is never more than a momentary distraction away.
I leapt out of bed and peered around anxiously - where could she be??
And then I realised...my midnight stagger to the loo had been incomplete.  I didn't close the toilet door.  With a sinking feeling I hustled down the hall... and sure enough... there is a little angel face peeping anxiously into the toilet bowl repeating "oooooooooh".  And there in the toilet bowl... submerged mournfully... you guessed it.  Mummy's iPhone.
Sob.
I can write no more...
Tis a dark dark day.

birthday sorbet

Yum Yum

So we met a little friend for birthday treats yesterday and the little princess got to try her first non-dairy sorbet... mummy gave up any attempt at civilised dining etiquette and simply gave her the spoon, and she lapped it up! Half the scoop disappeared rapidly... but clearly it was in intense experience!  This was the face made with every mouthful!

Tired of being busy

So its a knife that cuts both ways... I have a morbid fear of being alone, friendless, nothing to do and nowhere to go... but at the same time I crave quiet time, peace, space by myself, time with nothing to do and nowhere to be and no-one to interact with... and every day seems waaaay too busy....
I know, I know... you can't have it both ways... If it was possible then I would be able to retire on the book rights "How to have your cake and eat it too"... oh hang on, that sounds familiar, like most things these days I suspect its been done as a theme...or is that the new weight watchers slogan?  Oh don't mention weight watching...boo hoo mine is limited to buying weight watchers cottege cheese and somehow praying for the miraculous revelation that I lose a KG with every creamy mouthful...Needless to say it hasn't happened yet... I will add "manifest modern day miracle" to my staggeringly mountainous "TO DO" list.
Pish.  I am off to bed.