being grown up

So there are times in life when there is the thing which is the "grown up" thing to do... and then there is the thing which I want to do...and many an hour have I spent torn between the two.  On the one hand is the sensible option... the mature option... the one which causes calmness inside, all-be-it a sad sorry resentful pouting kind of calmness.... it is the choice that makes sense. 
And then there is the path that tugs at the heart strings, the path which stimulates the buzz of nervous excitement, the way of the rebel, the teenager throwing caution to the winds, the choice of the tempestuous heart...
Most often in my life I have chosen the "want", the "desire", over the thoughtful... Most often up until now in my life I have enjoyed the thrill of casting aside the grown up.  Sometimes in my life I have found thrilling adventure and great joy from taking such risks.  Many times in my life I have deeply regretted my decisions and wished that I had listened to the reason that I knew inside. 

So here I sit again... on the fence between the land of reason and the playground of desire.  Its a spiky place to perch...but here I remain, indecisive... pulled by duality and ultimately fearful of falling.