Thursday, March 27, 2014

Catch up.....

So I've been going around in circles... It's been so long since I wrote anything here that there is too much to catch up on... And the longer I leave it the more unsaid things build up in a long line between my mind and the page. They jiggle in the queue, not wanting to be forgotten... And I shush them and go off to do something else....
So many milestones.... My little baby girl has grown up, donned a maroon uniform, and started big girl school.  She loves it so much I am almost jealous....not jealous for her affection but jealous that my own heady days of primary school excitement are a dim dusty recollection of the past.  I stand outside the classroom and I can almost taste the excitement, the brains stretching and growing into new shapes, the hearts opening like new leaves unfurling....
My heart has found a glove... A person who fits me, wraps me, makes me feel warm and soft and comfortable. I chose to put aside fear and invite her to make her home with us. And slowly, one little tentative step and a time, we are finding out what if these three make some kind of family shape.
My mind has found new stimulation as I have set foot determinedly on a path of study that maybe just might lead to a career of sorts. After being Jill-of-all-trades-master-of-none for all of my life, I may have found something that resembles a pathway...small stepping stones towards being someone who can tell you what makes people happy....sort of.... My new passion is how we evaluate changes in wellbeing in social programs. It's hard, full of conceptual assumptions and subjective quick sand... But I see a direction laid out before me and I am testing the grounds...
Many many more small and large changes and experiences flow around me and through me and have done since last I turned to my blog to record the snapshots of this adventure I am part of. Mostly however, I find myself in a quiet settled space. Loving my daughter fills my days and makes me have to grow my heart regularly to fit it all in. Loving my fire haired muse gives me a sense of peace and balance in my days. Loving my home and shaping it around me gives me a sense of roots and place. I breath and face each day with a sense of equanimity and I sleep well.
Life is good.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You sound like you have everything that you want and need at long last. May the happiness last forever :-)