21 Inner Beauty Inspirations #14

14.  Being my dream for my child

More than anything in the world I want my little girl to be happy.  This week for some reason I am acutely aware of how much she means to me... she is my everything...
And much more than my own happiness, I want her to be happy.  I don't want to live through her, but I want to teach her how to find a pathway to happiness.  I don't want to choose that path for her, but I want her to find it and confidently walk it, without faltering, without self sabotaging, without fear... I want her to stride into her happiness with her head held high.
And there is only one way that I can think of to teach her that... and that is by leading the way.  In a thousand obvious and invisible ways she is learning from me every day.  She is sucking in my way of thinking, living, believing and choosing.  She is imprinting her mind with the things I say and do...and of course, like every mother, I hear myself coming out of her mouth on a daily basis.
So this is my challenge... I need to teach her to find her inner beauty and let it guide her in choosing a path of happiness.  I need to show her how to do it.
And so I need to do it myself.  I need to find in me the confidence, the bravery, the trust and the commitment to stride forward towards happiness.  I need to take her with me on my journey inside myself to find my inner happiness.
I need to be the way I want her to be, and live the life I want for her.
I need to be happy.

21 Inner Beauty Inspirations #12

12.  Remembering that under it all we are all the same, and we just want to be happy...even if we are a bit misguided about how we go about it.  So if someone upsets you or makes you angry...if they do wrong by you... remember - its just their poor stupid misguided attempt to find a little crumb of happiness - and forgive them...

Countering Stress and Depression
By HH Dalai Lama

At a fundamental level, as human beings, we are all the same; each one of us aspires to happiness and each one of us does not wish to suffer. This is why, whenever I have the opportunity, I try to draw people's attention to what as members of the human family we have in common and the deeply interconnected nature of our existence and welfare.

21 Inner Beauty Inspirations #5

"Something happens to you when you start looking after yourself: You start to feel precious. You are happy, and it is infectious. People around you are happy too"



Today I found this and it summed up what I have been wanting to articulate.  I wanted to write something about how paradoxically I feel better when I am exercising, eating well, committing to my own health.  Its not just about the endorphins of exercise, its bigger than that.  While my mind tells me I am happier indulging in tasty desirable "unhealthy-ness", diving into chocolate and cheesecake and laying on the couch... my reality tells me that the opposite is paradoxically true.
What I know to be true is that I am happier, more optimistic, more empowered, more positive to others, more energised and more alive when I am "sacrificing" the treats and laziness and making the effort to look after myself.  I know that for some this is no longer an effort - they have committed to it enough that it feels natural rather than like a chore... I hope to get there some day...but in the mean time I will try to hold onto this inner beauty inspiration to encourage me to keep on being committed to health and well-being, and know this honouring of myself will positively infect all of my relationships and endeavours.

being healthy makes me happy??

I thought chocolate made me happy... I thought laying on the couch made me happy... I thought not thinking about being unhealthy made me happy...
Turns out I have been wrong.  My readers may have picked up a melancholic theme to my blog in recent days.  Today I experienced my first burst of happy hearted singing and dancing around the house in some months... Today I felt high on life.  Today I actually felt really happy.
Turns out that being healthy actually makes me feel happy.  For the last three days I have been eating clean and lean, I have started exercising, and I have lost 1 kg already.  Today I did a big run at the gym to do my pre-diet fitness test (currently sitting on 9.35 mins to do 1km on the treadmill with a 5 incline).  I also did a bunch of free weights while I was there (and the cute trainer doing weights in front of me didn't hurt).
After I finished I did feel nauseous for a while, but I knew it was just the lactic acid moving around my system.
And then, I felt like dancing...singing... laughing....
And then I felt truly happy.
Its a great start to putting myself and my health first again.

Happy First Birthday Morning!

The morning started as normal... a bottle in bed with mummy....but mummy seems strangely happy and keeps singing at me!

OOOH  whats this then???

Wow.... new books!!! I love books....

 And this one has a really cool character in it!!!...

More??

Oh lots and lots of little doors to open and close...with things inside!!  wee hee!

But this new activity table is the BEST!!

I think I really like birthdays!!!!

Happy monday holiday lunch...

Happy autumn picnic sunday....

happiness

So I used to think that I could make anyone happy... I used to think that no matter how hard it was, I could be the one who would be able to make someone happy, no matter what kind of life they were living.  I worked so hard in my relationships, in my friendships, in my work...I bent myself in knots to be the thing, the very thing, that would make the other person happy.
And now I am all grown up I have learned that I cannot do this.  No matter how hard I have worked, I have not pleased everyone in my life... past lovers, past friends, past colleagues, past clients... I have not made them all happy.  And this has hurt me deeply at times, I have keenly felt the failure.
And recently I have found myself in a place in my life where there are too many people, with too many different wants, and it is impossible for me to make them all happy at the same time, because they all want something different from me at the same time... and no matter how many knots I bend myself into, it is impossible to please everyone.  And I have realised... that in tying those knots, I have damaged the ropes, damaged myself, by not stopping to consider what it is that I want and need - besides making others happy.
And I realise in reality the well known theory that there is a complicated balancing act required between self care and care for others.... If I am not caring for myself I cannot care for others, and in return, if I am not caring for others then I care less for myself because I like myself less...

So rather than learning new knots, I am changing my sport - I am taking up acrobatics in a new way - not flexibility but balance.  I seek balance.
This is what I want to teach my daughter - that there is a symbiosis between her own needs, her own self, and the needs and happiness of others...

learning to dance #2

To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking.

Agnes De Mille

Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another.

Author Unknown

What does it mean to dance with your heart?

Over the last few years I have had experiences which have been rewarding, up-lifting, affirming and empowering. I have discovered new strengths within myself, I have ventured far outside my comfort zones and I have discovered new worlds. I have succeeded and I have been proud of myself. I have grown up, grown stronger and grown wiser.

At the same time, over the last few years, I have had experiences which have challenged me, which have brought self doubt into my heart, which have made me feel like I am not good enough, not successful enough, not pretty enough, not clever enough, not capable enough, not fun enough, just not enough.

In leaving behind these times and looking forward I realise that its a very long time since I have danced in my heart. To dance in your heart is, I think, to feel beautiful, to feel proud of who you are, to feel full of celebration for the moment you are living, to feel loved, to feel richly alive and full of positive confidence for the next step. To dance in your heart is to know that your life is worth dancing about...

Tonight I heard a song which went something like this :

I hope you dance

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

you get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger

may you never take one single breath for granted

god forbid love ever leave you empty handed

may you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

when ever one door closes I hope one door opens

promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

dance....

I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

never settle for the path of least resistance

life might mean taking chances but they're worth taking

loving might be a mistake but its worth making

don't let some helping heart leave you bitter

when you come close to selling out reconsider

give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope I dance again one day soon.