my inner beauty project...

So... recently put it out to the world that I wanted to be struck speechless by beauty...
I meant that I wanted to fall in love, be blown away in awe and overcome with appreciation for another person.  I got four responses from friends.  One reminded me about the splendour of the world around me...which I had forgotten to appreciate this week.  One sought to give me faith that I would have that experience because I gave it to others - whether I knew it or not...  Which was both exceedingly surprising and reassuring.  One reminded me to look at my angel child... which reminded me that I am indeed deeply in love with her, and am indeed rendered speechless in appreciation on such a regular basis that I almost take it for granted now.  And the fourth urged me to look for it inside my own heart.  This one struck me most.
And I am reminded, once again, that I have indeed lost my perspective on what it is that I really need to do to find satisfaction.  I used to know these truths.  I used to know that if I am feeling unsatisfied in my life then it is inner development that is needed.  I used to be clear in the knowledge that my perception of the world is entirely the product of my own mind and its quality.  I used to be in the habit of knowing that my inner development is more important than any external achievement.  I used to commit time and energy to the quality of my mind rather than the trappings of my life.
And I am frustrated that I have forgotten these things.  I am sad that I am not living them.
So... At the same time as I am making a commitment to improving my outer self through healthy eating and exercise.... I am going to make a commitment to getting my insides back on track.
So... I make this commitment.  I am going to find one thing a day which inspires inner beauty to grow.  And I am going to blog about it.
I read once that it takes 21 days to change a habit - so this will be my challenge to myself.  21 days, 21 things to inspire inner beauty.  21 blog posts to record it.
How very exciting!

Dora my fat away...

So yes, I am doing another round of 12wbt.  Since I have been here I have been eating my stress away and I have some serious damage to undo.  I'm doing really well with my diet.  Its challenging but my motivation so far has been strong and clear.  There has also been a radical improvement in my exercise - not perfect, not as it should be for the program - but I have gone from nothing to semi-regular workouts.  I'm so pleased!  And the almost 2kg I have lost is really making me happy :-)
Being a CEO, a single mum and living in a country where I don't have any family to call on for babysitting or support is challenging, and I know its not going to be easy.  I can't get many of the foods and snacks I used to have, I don't have reliable babysitting to go to the gym, gluten free low fat food to buy when away from home is pretty much impossible... but I am going to do my very best anyway!
Today was a classic example of being inventive and flexible to get the outcomes... I had just started a zumba wii workout while the little one was napping and she woke up about 10 mins in.  I could have given up at that point, but I didn't.  For a while I convinced her to dance with me, but then she insistently wanted HER dancing wii game, so I completed the rest of a 40 min work out with the Dancing Dora wii game!  I have to say, that chick has some moves and the steps were easier to follow!  I did a little skipping outside while the little one had a dance on her own, and was ready to hit the painting when she got bored...satisfied that I had both had fun with her and lifted my heart rate for a while!  (and I got three gold stars from Dora!).