What I was surprised about however was how little it actually moved and shook me. I was in paradise, there is no doubt about it...I was in a place that few dare to dream about visiting. Because I am a local and get substantial discounts, and because I can just drive there for the weekend I can afford it... but most people could not and do not.
What I have discovered recently however is that I have become immune to luxury... I enjoy it, but I don't feel the thrilling tummy flutters of joy that used to be inspired by top-of-the-line sumptuousness... I admire the luxury but I feel, well, at home there... I used to worry about what to wear to the pool, about looking like I fit in... I used to feel like an impostor in another magic exciting world... now I look at the quality of the mini shampoos and shower heads with discernment and potter around like its my own backyard :-)
Being an aid worker in a third world country has changed me it seems! Fiji is, of course, not exactly your average third world country... my dilemmas here are less how to find enough malaria drugs and more which internet broadband provider has the fastest speed for the best price.
Is this a positive change or a loss? Is it a good development to become less impressed by superficial luxury, more at home in my own skin where ever I am.... or have I become blase, jaded, unimpressed by the impressive? What I can say is that I miss my innocent days, my days of trying to look cool and natural while wide-eyed and awe-struck... I miss feeling like a weekend in luxury was the stuff of life long memories...
No chance of reliving the innocence through my child however, she is already quite the paradise princess, unashamedly a resort junky :-)
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