Growing Growing Growing... wee!

So my angel is growing growing growing... She crawled, she walked, she talked, and now she pees!
We tried toilet training several times over this year... but she wasn't ready.  She knew the theory but the practice was messy.
But this week, suddenly, she's got it!
We have had almost a week with minimal accidents...she puts her wees in the potty regularly, holds on until she can get to the potty... and now she even pees in the toilet too.
Its a big step - and a big adjustment for me.  Being a mum has integrally involved changing nappies... its an iconic time.  A little girl in big girl knickers is a whole different story!  She is really not my baby anymore... and I am sooo proud of her!

My Silver Space

So I have realised recently how profoundly I am influenced by others expectations of me.  I feel acutely the judgements of others when I don't meet their expectations.  Some people affect me more profoundly than others... and over-all the result is an overwhelming urge to flee, and the almost complete loss of a stable sense of who I am - and that its ok to be me!
I am not like other people... I do things differently to other people... I know that some things about me are sometimes frustrating, confusing or concerning to others - but I happen to, when I am outside of the influence of others judgements, like myself the way I am.
So I have visualised for myself a Silver Space... it is my space... space to be myself free of others judgements.  In my silver space I don't feel guilty, I don't feel inadequate... With love I allow others to be who they are and be different to me... and I don't need to take on any pressure to be like them or to feel bound by their expectations.
In my Silver Space I am free.

Learning to Love

 My Angel is learning to love...
When she was small, smaller than now, she loved in the moment.  She loved the people who were in front of her...the people who played with her... and when they were gone she moved on to the next person or diversion.
But recently... she is learning to love people and stay loving them.  She remembers, she misses people.  She has her favourites.  She thinks about them when they are not there.  She is excited and looks forward to seeing them.  She doesn't engage with strangers as easily - she wants "her people"...
She knows who she loves.

neglect

It seems I have been neglecting my blog...
Tis true... I admit it. 
Why?  A combination of factors...
I am busy... yep...
I have an iphone... and my mobile blogging isn't working...
My angel loves computers so I need to hide my laptop...
I became conscious that both a) people were reading my blog and it affected them... and b) not all that many people were reading my blog.
I got hooked on the postsecret app and wasted lots of time reading random strangers secrets...
I have a to-do list that is so long that I am either a) busy or b) avoiding activity by lying on the couch dozing or losing my mind in vacuous television.
I started having only a night or two a week to myself, and hoarded my down time jealously...
I had a hundred little things to say and no way to express the big things.
But I am back...
Thanks for your patience!