So recently I had a big falling out with a dear friend... in the way of the multi-decker sandwich of life, there were more than a few flavours in the mix... some new, some old, some borrowed, some sold (well perhaps not sold, but it did rhyme so nicely :-)
Along the way of the conflict path I passed through confusion, took a dog-leg turn at infuriated, dawdled through devastated, parked in resigned for a while, and finally took a deep breath and a running jump at resolution.
This weekend my friend and I worked out our issues and took the first happy steps to rebuilding our friendship. I am so glad, so glad to have my friend back, so glad that I did not walk away when it would have been easier to do that, so glad that she also wanted to work it out, so glad that we were both big brave girls in tackling the miscommunications head first, so glad that this journey has come around the jogging track and back to the starting line.
And a wonderful part of the outcome is that I have had a novel and quite delightful experience - I have experienced having someone consciously and overtly choose to be my friend. So often I have found friendships to be something that you quietly drift into, through circumstances, and can drift out of, or not - but they are non-verbal states of being. When we date there is generally some point at which someone says something along the lines of "hey - wanna like, you know, be like boy/girl friends or what?" or perhaps something more articulate and romantic if you are lucky. But rarely do we, out loud, name our choice to be friends. So this weekend my friend told me clearly that she wanted to be my friend... and I told her, succinctly, that I chose to be her friend...
And the experience felt a little odd...but really really nice.
2 comments:
It's hard for sure to have falling out's...I've my share for sure...but so much better when a friend is willing to work thru the hard times with you. I've had friends who just walked away..and basicall that tells me that im not worth the time and energy it would take to work things out...that hurts..like a bad break up. But when you have invested you heart into a friend and she invests back, the trials bring you that much closer to being life long friends...and that's what we want is it not..those who will be there always. And not those who fall away at the first struggles.Glad to hear you have such a great friend!
We all go through these little bumps in the road with our friends, especially us girls. Glad you got your friend back, and some wisdom out of it too :)
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