Sometimes I travel through the world, sometimes I journey within. Some travel has a destination, a goal, and some is simply about the joy of discovery. This blog keeps me company as I indulge my passion for exploration, my wanderlust.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
surrendering, surrendering
So once again I learn to surrender... surrender the flimsy illusion of control over this process of becoming pregnant...
I was supposed to have a scan on Friday then, if my ovaries were in a happy mood, start the big squirt on Saturday.... But of course Friday is a public holiday and I am told my doctor is not working...so I book for Saturday... On Saturday I turn up and discover my doctor decided to work on Friday not Saturday... so no scan, just a blood test... and now instead of driving to the scene of the event and commencing this momentus life changing process... I sit on this Saturday afternoon and wait for my doctor to call me tonight sometime with my results... at which point I must either cast myself onto the long highway and speed to the most precious fountain of life... or life attempts to go on as normal for a day, a few days, a week... until my hormones decide to come out and party.... I can't plan... I can't control anything... not my doctor, not my working week, certainly not my body...
So I breath....
and I wait...
and then I breath some more...
That I can do....
..and I have needle in my ear for support if it all becomes too stressful... a wee micro tack is taped into my ear and I am to press on it to release relaxation and well-being into my chi...
Life feels somewhat surreal....
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1 comment:
lol - you might wonna ease off on that chi! :))
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